❤️‍🔥🤖 Robotic relationship? Science has the answer

Unmitigated stress, past trauma, and crazy workloads make the perfect cocktail for turning you (and/or your partner) into robots in a dying bedroom…(which is no joke, I tell you). And with our busy modern lives, healthy bedrooms don’t magic out of thin air. There’s an art to keeping bedrooms red hot that is rooted in psychology.

Self-expansion theory. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s the idea that taking a break from your predictable routine could light you up in unexpected ways. 

If you’re looking to transform your relationship in an evidence-backed way, you’ll love today’s newsletter. In today’s email, you learn: 

• Science justifies taking breaks together

• 4 couples vacation types to try (and why)

• Update for US would-be passport holders

• How did the “I love you” challenge go?

• New Get your relationship questions answered by experts

👩🏻‍⚕️ See somewhere new together (Doctor’s orders)

Tens of thousands of monthly romance search queries show that we don’t need extra encouragement to take a break with our partners. But sometimes (especially when there’s trouble), we need evidence to show how taking a break might address our problems. 

According to Dr. Theresa DiDonato, routines help us exist day to day, but they can become problematic and kill our sense of wonder. Taking a vacation helps us disrupt our routine, trigger self-expansion, and revitalize our relationships. 

And you don’t even need to splash out on a huge 5-star resort break to reap the benefits of self-expansion in your relationship. Dr. Holly Parker suggests that small actions like visiting a new restaurant in your city can do the trick. 

“Couple vacations can be a powerful aphrodisiac for reigniting your sex life. Novel experiences can spark that craved sense of adventure and excitement... of exploring uncharted territory together to release a cocktail of desire-stoking hormones”, says dating coach, Jonathan Hartley of Positives Dating. He advises couples to not just vacation, but to co-create erotic adventures together

Well, you’ve heard it from the medical team. Now, here are some ideas to help you plan the perfect couple's vacation to get your relationship back in the groove. 

🏕️ Camping Retreats

Not featuring The Wild Outdoors in the No. 1 position on this list would be near criminal. In a study of 500 camping couples, 90% of respondents reported that camping spiced things up significantly in the bedroom. Over 50% said they were having' a lot more sex’ than usual, thanks to fewer distractions, concerns, closer proximity to their partners, and more. And what’s better, the changes were sustained beyond the camping holiday. 

No matter what your budget is, there’s a camping retreat with your name on it. From $0 camping sites to all-inclusive campsites in the thousands, there’s something for you. So book that camping trip and give yourselves a chance to self-expand by disconnecting from the hustle and bustle, exploring hiking trails, enjoying fireside picnics, and falling asleep to the soothing sounds of nature.

🚗 Road Trip Romance

There’s a lot to be said about road trips and relationships, but experienced couples seem to agree that they can bring couples closer. Perhaps it’s the music selection arrangement. Or maybe it’s the backseat driving, but we can all agree that spending time with another person in a small space creates opportunities for intimate conversations. 

So if you’re overdue a child-free, heart-to-heart with your partner, hit the open road and explore taking a budget-friendly road trip together. Pack a cooler with snacks, create a playlist of your favorite tunes, and set out to explore nearby towns, national parks, and scenic routes. 

🏖️ Beach Bonanza

Ever wonder why the beach has mesmerized humans since the dawn of time? According to marine biology experts like Wallace J. Nichols, “we are hardwired to react positively to the ocean”… so rather than working against nature, work with nature and pack your sunscreen and beach towels for a seaside escape. 

When planning, don’t be tempted to take the first result that TripAdvisor throws at you. You can snag great deals by going off the beaten track and doing some investigations yourself. Simply open a map and find accessible coastal towns where you can treat yourselves to a romantic sunset stroll along the shore.

🏙️ City Staycation

Who says you need to travel far for a memorable getaway? There’s so much magic to be rediscovered in your own city if you just know where to look.

According to Sofie Roos, relationship author and sexologist in Sweden, spa trips and big city breaks are ideal - as long as you’re careful not to overdo things during upbeat vacations. You can see your city through fresh eyes by finding new experiences, booking a night at a charming bed and breakfast, or dining at a local eatery you've been meaning to try.

“If you book a too tight schedule, there’s a big risk you won’t have enough energy for each other, so cool down. The purpose is not to see and do as much as possible but to have a great time together, and it’s up to you to make that happen!”, says Sofie. 

🛂 Traveling outside the US?

If you’re in the United States and you prefer to practice your self-expansion theory from further afield but don’t yet have a passport, the US Department of State is conducting passport acceptance fairs across the country, where first-time applicants can get support for their passport applications. The full schedule for April and May is published here. 

🧮 Challenge time

Last week, we asked you lovebirds to proclaim your love for your partner again - especially if they speak a different mother tongue from you. 

How did it go? Please share in the comment below, and we might include the best responses in our next edition. 

✅ Poll

👵 Agony Aunt

Have a pressing problem in your relationship, and you would benefit from expert advice? Enter it here, and you could get professional advice - WITHOUT the fee!

(Check out our next edition to see if you’ve been selected to get your question answered)