🪪 Post-marriage green card application timelines

“If it takes 20 months to get a US green card after marriage, why hasn’t Marie gotten hers 3 years later?”

This was the question a concerned US-based friend of mine asked, after dramatically proposing to his Brazilian partner on a kayak (and nearly dropping the ring in the river). He was ready to marry his partner, and was worried about “trapping” her in the country while waiting for approval for a green card.   

And his concerns were valid. Obtaining a green card after marriage isn’t a walk in the park. The process is rumored to take anywhere from months to years, and there’s the question of legal status during the wait. 

If you share similar concerns about when you and your loved one can possible live together as a legally untethered, married couple, you’ll love today’s newsletter. In today’s email, you learn: 

• Realistic application timelines for a US green card through marriage

• How other countries compare

• Strengthening your relationship: Couples vacation vs couples therapy

• Ever considered long-distance sex toys?

• Weekly relationship challenge

📬 Your realistic timeline for getting a US Green Card Through Marriage

Here’s what a realistic timeline looks like of an applicant using the Boundless service, and in the United States on an F-1 visa.

⏳ January - March 7th: Filled application. Sent out complete folder (snail mail) with all the forms and evidence. Medical report not included

📬March 9th: USCIS receipt. Website updated status to "We received your Form I-485, Application to Register Permanent Residence or Adjust Status, and sent you a receipt notice."

👆 March 17th: USCIS Biometrics appointment. Website updated status to "We scheduled you for a biometrics appointment"

📝 March 23rd: Request for medical report. USCIS website updated status to "We sent a request for initial evidence for your Form I-485, Application to Register Permanent Residence or Adjust Status". 

 ✅ April 7th: Attended scheduled Biometrics Appointment. Same day, USCIS website updated status to "We are actively reviewing your Form I-485, Application to Register Permanent Residence or Adjust Status. Our records showed nothing is outstanding at this time."

📝 April 17th: USCIS website updated status to "We received your response for Form I-485, Application to Register Permanent Residence or Adjust Status"

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳⏳

💃 May 13th: Approval received. USCIS website updated status to "Your case for your Form I-485, Application to Register Permanent Residence or Adjust Status was approved." 

🪪 May 17th: Card produced. USCIS website updated status to "Card Was Produced"

📬 May 20th: Card in hand. Received the Green Card in the Mail

This applicant had to have been in the US for 3 years to be eligible to apply, but what’s the timeline for other countries?

🗺️ How do other countries compare?

🏕️ Couples vacation vs. Couples therapy

And if traveling with your partner (locally or internationally) is not a big deal, what’s more important - a vacation or couples therapy? 

Well, it depends. Research continues to show that a couples vacation paves the way for more sex and physical intimacy – even after the actual vacation (which could reduce the burden on therapy sessions). 

And exactly how many vacations do couples need to launch this intimacy boost? 1 - 2 extended leisure vacations each year, according to this paper. 

If you’re not sure where to start in terms of planning a couple vacation, why not make it a surprise in 4 simple steps (assuming your partner likes surprises):

• Clear your schedules. 

• Choose a destination. Now’s the time to deploy all the hints they’ve ever dropped about what makes them tick

• Book accommodation, flights (if necessary) and pack in secret. If you’re leaving the country, also check that your passports are valid 6 months after your trip, if y

• Reveal! Write them a note, get them to unscramble scrabble pieces to take a guess, or send them on a scavenger hunt. 

Remember that surprise trips can be incredible, and incredibly risky – as things can end up not going to plan.  

🍆 Long-distance couples sex toys

How do you spice things up in the bedroom, when you don’t share an actual bedroom? 

☎️  1984 Long-distance sexy phone call, most likely from the living room

📲🍆 2024 Long distance sex toy

Long-distance sex toys are innovative gadgets designed to help couples maintain intimacy and sexual connection even when they are miles apart. These devices use modern technology to create interactive experiences that can be controlled remotely, allowing partners to feel closer and more connected despite the physical distance.

1. Connected via Apps: These toys are usually connected to a smartphone app via Bluetooth. The app then uses the internet to link your device with your partner's device, no matter where you both are.

2. Remote Control: Through the app, you can control your partner's toy, adjusting settings like vibration patterns and intensity. This can be done in real-time, making it feel as if you are physically present with each other.

3. Interactive Features: Some advanced toys have features that respond to touch, motion, or even sound, creating a more immersive experience. For instance, a vibrator might react to the rhythm of your partner's voice during a video call.

And there’s a whole range to choose from, with roundup’s from Glamour, PinkNews, GoodHouseKeeping and even a Masterclass on how to get the best use out of them. 

🧮 Challenge time

Do you know whether or not your partner would be open to a vacation? Why not find out? This weekend, playfully ask them questions about what their ideal vacation would look like. Then take notes and start planning!

And if you’re confused about their answer, share with an expert via our Agony aunt section below 👇

👵 Agony Aunt

Have a pressing relationship issue that is driving you up the wall? Share it here anonymously and you could get professional advice - WITHOUT the fee!

(Check out our next edition to see if you’ve been selected to get your question answered)